Two Weeks! April 4, 2017

Honestly, I don't know what to write. So many emotions. I never thought I would get here, but here I am. 

For the past 5 days my companion has been really sick. We've had to stay in because of her sickness. It's been a long weekend to say the least.  We weren't able to watch Saturday's conference ☹️ but thankfully, members we were living with gave us their wifi password and so it worked better for us on Sunday, and  we were able to hear more talks on Sunday. It's a very interesting feeling, knowing that modern day Apostles are speaking, and unable to hear their words. I never want to miss another General Conference. Ever. Haha. Lesson learned! 

But, on the flip side, I have finished the Book of Acts and Romans! Incredible books. Last night I was reading in 1 Corinthians and I couldn't stop reading! I am literally feasting on the words of Christ! I love the scriptures! 

At the beginning of this week, we did lots of service helping at a food pantry. We also had lunch with an investigator, Mary. She took us to a Mongolian grill and she made us eat seconds!! We were so full it was crazy! And then we also painted ceilings for members who just moved into the ward.  ;) yup, I never thought I would do that! 

So 2 weeks left. I am going on the temple on Wednesday for a departing temple trip. Being a missionary has been a great source of joy for me. I have a lot of feelings about it, but this is what I have to say. And I will quote a lot of scripture here because I don't really know how to say what i feel....

 Mosiah 2:21-22

21 I say unto you that if ye should serve him who has created you from the beginning, and is preserving you from day to day, by lending you breath, that ye may live and move and do according to your own will, and even supporting you from one moment to another--I say, if ye should serve him with all your whole souls yet ye would be unprofitable servants.

22 And behold, all that he requires of you is to keep his commandments; and he has promised you that if ye would keep his commandments ye should prosper in the land; and he never doth vary from that which he hath said; therefore, if ye do keep his commandments he doth bless you and prosper you.

At the beginning of my mission I thought that I was giving God something back for all He had given me. But I knew, in the back of my mind, that I would never be able to pay him back. I have seen so many miracles, and probably only a few people will know all of the miracles that have happened. So many sacred experiences. I have become someone new, someone better. I literally feel liberated. Saved. I have come to understand more fully the Plan, and the gospel of Jesus Christ, the why of everything. Every question is answered. And so I shall continue to study, to learn, to teach and lead and guide and pray and study some more. 

I wish to add my voice to that of Paul: 

(1 Corinthians 2....just read the whole chapter really...)

1 And I, brethren, when I came to you, came not with excellency of speech or of wisdom, declaring unto you the testimony of God.

2 For I determined not to know any thing among you, save Jesus Christ, and him crucified.

3 And I was with you in weakness, and in fear, and in much trembling.

4 And my speech and my preaching was not with enticing words of man’s wisdom, but in demonstration of the Spirit and of power:

5 That your faith should not stand in the wisdom of men, but in the power of God.

This has been the best experience of my life, for my life. I can't even describe it. I don't think I ever will be able to. 

Alma 26

11 But Ammon said unto him: I do not boast in my own strength, nor in my own wisdom; but behold, my joy is full, yea, my heart is brim with joy, and I will rejoice in my God.

12 Yea, I know that I am nothing; as to my strength I am weak; therefore I will not boast of myself, but I will boast of my God, for in his strength I can do all things; yea, behold, many mighty miracles we have wrought in this land, for which we will praise his name forever.

16 Therefore, let us glory, yea, we will glory in the Lord; yea, we will rejoice, for our joy is full; yea, we will praise our God forever. Behold, who can glory too much in the Lord? Yea, who can say too much of his great power, and of his mercy, and of his long-suffering towards the children of men? Behold, I say unto you, I cannot say the smallest part which I feel.

22 Yea, he that repenteth and exerciseth faith, and bringeth forth good works, and prayeth continually without ceasing--unto such it is given to know the mysteries of God; yea, unto such it shall be given to reveal things which never have been revealed; yea, and it shall be given unto such to bring thousands of souls to repentance, even as it has been given unto us to bring these our brethren to repentance.

27 Now when our hearts were depressed, and we were about to turn back, behold, the Lord comforted us, and said: Go amongst thy brethren, the Lamanites, and bear with patience thine afflictions, and I will give unto you success.

28 And now behold, we have come, and been forth amongst them; and we have been patient in our sufferings, and we have suffered every privation; yea, we have traveled from house to house, relying upon the mercies of the world--not upon the mercies of the world alone but upon the mercies of God.

29 And we have entered into their houses and taught them, and we have taught them in their streets; yea, and we have taught them upon their hills; and we have also entered into their temples and their synagogues and taught them; and we have been cast out, and mocked, and spit upon, and smote upon our cheeks; and we have been stoned, and taken and bound with strong cords, and cast into prison; and through the power and wisdom of God we have been delivered again.

30 And we have suffered all manner of afflictions, and all this, that perhaps we might be the means of saving some soul; and we supposed that our joy would be full if perhaps we could be the means of saving some.

31 Now behold, we can look forth and see the fruits of our labors; and are they few? I say unto you, Nay, they are many; yea, and we can witness of their sincerity, because of their love towards their brethren and also towards us.

35 Now have we not reason to rejoice? Yea, I say unto you, there never were men that had so great reason to rejoice as we, since the world began; yea, and my joy is carried away, even unto boasting in my God; for he has all power, all wisdom, and all understanding; he comprehendeth all things, and he is a merciful Being, even unto salvation, to those who will repent and believe on his name.

36 Now if this is boasting, even so will I boast; for this is my life and my light, my joy and my salvation, and my redemption from everlasting wo. Yea, blessed is the name of my God, who has been mindful of this people, who are a branch of the tree of Israel, and has been lost from its body in a strange land; yea, I say, blessed be the name of my God, who has been mindful of us, wanderers in a strange land.

37 Now my brethren, we see that God is mindful of every people, whatsoever land they may be in; yea, he numbereth his people, and his bowels of mercy are over all the earth. Now this is my joy, and my great thanksgiving; yea, and I will give thanks unto my God forever. Amen.

I am so thankful to my God for giving me this blessed opportunity. I have been an instrument in his hands, and I have seen so many miracles in his name. And I will continue to serve Him my whole life! Thank you for your prayers and help and all the letters and love and support. ️️

Three Weeks, March 27, 2017

This week. Was very long. I think it was because we didn't get a full
P-day, and because we had to do a lot of work inside with planning and
getting things ready for the week. We have 7 progressing
investigators, and so it is pretty exciting!!!! We are very busy
keeping up with them!

We had interviews on Wednesday, and it was so wonderful to visit with
President and Sister Russell! They are so great! I love them a lot. I
talked to President about being better at sharing scriptures with
investigators to help resolve their concerns. In the process of me
studying for it, I came across this scripture:

"...that the time has verily come that it is necessary and expedient
in me that you should open your mouths in proclaiming my gospel, the
things of the kingdom, expounding the mysteries thereof out of the
scriptures, according to that portion of Spirit and power which shall
be given unto you, even as I will." D&C 71:1

So, I thought, wow! I guess Heavenly Father thinks it is necessary for
me to use the scriptures! So I have been striving to get better at
that. I am reading in Acts right now, and it is incredible to see how
the church that existed then, is the same that exists now. It is VERY
clear that the Apostles directed the church after Jesus Christ left,
that they had the priesthood and that members were baptized and
received the Gift of the Holy Ghost by that priesthood authority. We
met a woman who is Less active, who said that she doesn't believe that Jesus is
the Christ, or that the apostles directed the church after He was
gone. I am so grateful for the scriptures and the power and knowledge
that we can gain from them. As we read everyday, and pray, and go to
church, those three will build our foundation on Christ so that we
will not become troubled or confused by the philosophies of men.

We had a lesson with Mary. We showed the Testaments movie to her, and
she was in tears at the end of the movie. She believes the Book of
Mormon to be true, she just is waiting for a confirming witness from
the Holy Ghost. She has some things she is working towards, but she is
incredible and is seeking for knowledge and truth. "Just have to be
patient with me girls. And with Him. I guess it's all in his timing."

We had two lessons scheduled at the same time on Saturday morning, and
so we went on splits. I was with a member named Rita, and she is so
fun! We went and visited with Myrna. She had met with missionaries
before, but had a stroke and forgot everything. Rita was very
surprised when we met with her, Rita had helped teach her before.
"She is more receptive now, she's even reading from the Book of
Mormon!" Very true. Myrna has read 3 chapters in the Book of Mormon,
and loves it! In a very inspired lesson, we taught her about prayer,
the Holy Ghost and the Gift of the Holy Ghost. I bore a strong
testimony of the power of prayer because of an experience I had when I
was a teen. Tears, were flowing down my cheeks as I told her that God
loves her and knows her and that He answers prayers. "I began to pray
and ask God if I should go on a mission. And I waited patiently to
know. And finally one day, I felt the Spirit. I felt a warmth and a
power beyond my own. I knew I was called by God to come here. I am
here to teach you."

 It struck me then. I only have a few short weeks left. But I was
called to be a missionary. And I have done everything I needed to. And
the great thing is, I will continue to find people. All my life. A
mission is just the beginning.

Yesterday was a hard day. It is scary to think of the future, and not
really know how I fit into the puzzle of life. I've been struggling to
know who I am, but more importantly of what Heavenly Father needs me
to become and do to help continue to build His kingdom. I am scared
for the future, because I don't know what will happen. But I am coming
to understand that I can trust in God, that He will not lead me astray
or forget me. That He knows my name and does hear my prayers. I need
to let my faith overcome my fear. It is to take a step in the dark,
not knowing if I will make it. But, with Christ, all things are
possible.